Irradiation

(With apologies to Dr. Seuss)

I will not eat nuked steak and ham.
I will not eat them, Dan-I-Am.

Will you eat them with a beer?
Food safety is our greatest fear.
Will you eat them on a plate?
The solution is to irradiate.
Donít you fear E. coli woes?
But then again, I suppose
Youíre too busy hugging trees
To hear the poor consumersí pleas
For food that will not make them ill.
Irradiation is our national plan, so
Will you eat nuked steak and ham?

I will not eat it on a dish.
I will not eat your glowing fish.
You canít twist my "tree-hugging" arm.
Iíll buy my chicken from a farm.
My local lockerís very able
To put clean meat upon my table
(Although it does not bear your label).
The problemís not the little guys,
But IBPís enormous size.
When working on a scale so great,
Youíve no choice but to irradiate
At a most expensive fee -
And you call it "efficiency."
Why do you turn a blind
Eye to the fact that confined
Animals are most unhealthy?
Because they make the big guys wealthy?
If "green eggs and ham" are raised on pasture
Then I will eat them with great rapture, but
I will not eat nuked steak and ham.
I will not eat them, Dan-I-Am.

 Cris Carusi

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